Update from Rod

I sit in Ensenada, at 5pm on Wed, likely the last place on earth I want to be. At rm240 or so last night, after a stressful prep week and last few days, well for that matter a stressful last 5 months, I had eaten next to nothing and my gut started twisting into knots. I finally asked Dave to stop, and when I got out of the car, I couldn't stand, the world would not stop and I felt like a rag doll as I collapsed to the earth. Dave is an awesome friend, putting my condition and needs above the race, and himself. He prayed over me and put my head on his leg as we tried to wait it out. About 10 minutes or so later, we tried to drive some more, but the terrain was unforgiving. I couldn't be in the car...I couldn't stand, my bodies lower GI was in full revolt. It was 2:30 am, we had been up since 5am and driving since 1pm...Dave was amazing, just driving strong hour after hour. At rm 280 we came across a visual pit for SMD. We chatted briefly and left, within a mile I new I was done. I couldn't stand another minute in the car. I got out and Dave's compassion once again shown through. As I was on my hands and knees crying, we prayed and looked for some healing or wisdom. I am tearing up again as I write this. The decision that was made, with only 40 miles before I could have hooked up with the chase rig, (40 miles that would have taken 4 hours or more at the pace my body dictated) was for me to grab my survival bag and walk back to rm 280. Dave waited in 302 and didn't budge until rm 280 reported my arrival. They commented several times how unusual, and kind that was. I was confident of that decision early this morning, but as the gap between the team that we had forged to tackle Baja continues to grow, with me stationary in Ensenda and them working further and further South to Cabo....a weariness and sadness envelop me. I didn't want to blog this, its painful...I want to be with them, sharing in the success, the challenges, the McGyver fixes, and eventually the conclusion, in Cabo, or where ever the conclusion takes place, but I'm not with them and have no reasonable way to make it happen. This is not what I had planned. 40 miles and a wasted body is all that kept me from hooking up with my wife, my friends and my team. Now it has grown to nearly 600 miles. I am lonely, frustrated, confused, angry and sad. I was thinking of myself, and not blogging any of this, when God put it on my heart that JTR is racing for a cause. The cause is a diabetes camp for kids, and those kids at that camp, and the challenges they face in life, are the reason you are reading this. Those kids deal with these feelings too and for me to paint the rosy exterior picture only, is not life. Life is not easy, life doesn't offer neat little win-win options. We must face the myriad of complexities of living in this place, and lean on God and friends to help navigate the way. Thanks for being that circle of friends. I am going to get some food now. I am going to get some sleep. I wish I was with my team...but I'm not.....